That special feeling is gone, communication is strained and there is more conflict. Perhaps there is a lack of intimacy and you hurt one another. Or there are doubts and you find yourself on the verge of breaking up. Whatever it is, your relationship is in trouble.
As couples therapists, we provide a safe environment in which you can explore and strengthen your relationship. We work from a clear vision and take an approach that emphasizes depth and sustainable growth.
The two of us always work together when supporting couples. This enhances their process and allows us to support both partners individually, so that we can heal the wounds that tend to be at the root of most relationship problems. Simulatneously, the four of us work on building a new, stronger relationship.
We aim for the best possible outcome for each couple, but our goal is not to ‘save’ the relationship at any cost. Sometimes partners conclude that it’s better to part ways, in which case we help them to come to a harmonious end. We also work with couples who have already divorced or are in the process of divorcing, but who want to work through things for the sake of their children.
When a couple comes to us, a lot has already happened and tensions are high. However, we seldom intervene at the very start, but first explore the strengths and challenges of your relationship through an intake that comprises four 1.5-hour sessions.
In the first session we discuss what brings you to us, how your relationship has developed over the years and how you engage in conflict. After the first session, you will complete two comprehensive and scientifically validated questionnaires.
Then each of you will talk to one of us in private. We dive more deeply into the relationship and cover your personal history. This gives us an idea of which things from the past, specifically your childhood, could (often unconsciously) affect the relationship.
In the fourth session, we share our findings and recommendations. We share what we see, identify underlying causes, pinpoint your needs and outline how we wish to proceed. We put this in writing, which provides clarity and direction.
You may expect to start the intake within seven days of contacting us.
We design a follow-up process for each couple, in which we alternate between couples sessions and individual sessions.
Some couples benefit from a one-off session about MBTI and the Enneagram; two approaches to personality type. This increases your understanding of each other’s qualities, needs and coping mechanisms, and provides a common language for talking about issues.
Sometimes it’s necessary to heal old wounds – such as those caused by infidelity – release pent-up feelings and restore trust. Often, we teach couples to have healthy conflict, which can improve intimacy and mutual respect.
Sommige stellen hebben baat bij een gezamenlijke sessie over MBTI en het Enneagram; twee benaderingen van persoonlijkheidstypen. Dit verdiept jullie inzicht in elkaars kwaliteiten, behoeften en coping mechanismen, en geeft een gemeenschappelijke taal om beter mee te communiceren over de relatie.
Why 2 therapists
We – Fleur and Ilja – work as a couple with couples. Our clients find this valuable because it gives them more attention, sessions are more balanced and there are no worries about ‘whose side’ the therapist is on.
Working together adds depth, keeps us sharp and helps us find solutions where one of us encounters limitations. While we are both trained in a wide variety of therapeutic disciplines, we have complementary talents, skills and perspectives.
Fleur, for example, has a feminine perspective on relationships and life, for example when it comes to boundaries, sexuality, womanhood, motherhood, stepmotherhood and work. Ilja has a male perspective on matters such as intimacy and emotions, anger, fatherhood, work and sexuality.
We also draw on the strength of our relationship, which has already been tested by life on a number of occasions. The deep respect we have for each other and the pleasure we experience in each other’s presence also forms a safe and inspiring basis for others.
We do not work with health insurers and do not have a waiting list. In general, we can get started quickly, especially in a crisis situation.
Our individual rate (when one of us works with one person) is €130 per hour and our combined rate (when the two of us work with a couple) is €165 per hour. This includes 21% VAT when invoiced privately and excludes 21% VAT when invoiced to a business. We do not work with health insurers and invoice per session afterwards, with a payment term of 14 days.
The intake includes four 1.5-hour conversations, the analysis of two extensive questionnaires and a written report in which we share our observations and recommendations, explain the core of the matter and outline our plan.
After the intake, we continue with a unique combination of couples and individual therapy. In blocks of five sessions, each of the partners has two individual 2.5-hour sessions, plus a joint 1.5-hour session with the four of us.
Experience shows clients find three to seven blocks adequate for a lasting result, but there is no need to commit to a specific number of blocks since the needs of our clients determine the scope of our work.
Are you interested in this programme? Please fill in the form and we will contact you.