Relationships are a rich source of satisfaction, connection and transformation. But they can also lead to frustration, disappointment and pain. Which of those forces is strongest determines whether couples grow stronger together or are driven apart.

In this weekend retreat, we examine both sides of your relationship. We discover the nine building blocks of a resilient and healthy relationship and learn ways to strengthen them. We not only focus on boosting your friendship, intimacy and joy, but also on creating more meaning and shared dreams.

Of course we also pay attention to problem areas such as conflict, unresolved pain and where there is less trust. After all, these are things that – suddenly or silently – can undermine your relationship. How does this happen and what can you do about it?

This retreat is intended for couples, i.e. two people who are in a long-term relationship with each other. Naturally, all types of couples are welcome, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.

Because we keep the group small, the two of you will have a lot of attention and space for what matters to you. however, we also make room for mutual exchange, so that couples can learn from each other and we find recognition in each other’s experiences.

Programme day 1

08:30 – 09:00
Couples arrive at the hotel and check in.
09:00 – 09:15
We get acquainted and chart a course through the weekend.
09:15 – 10:15
Relationship at its best
We start with what is good in your relationship. What are you grateful for, when are you at your best as a couple? What makes you strong in those moments? How can you maintain that and expand it even further?
10:15 – 12:00
House of Love
A strong and resilient House of Love has nine building blocks. What are they? Which parts are strong in your relationship and which are in need of more attention? This science based House provides us with a frame for knowing where we are and what we need to do. We will have a short break during this block.
12:00 – 12:45
Recharge your batteries with a good meal.
12:45 – 13:30
Exchange in nature
Couples go for a walk in the woods to look for new energy and inspiration. Using a series of questions, we invite you to start a conversation, to let go of things and to put things in perspective.
13:30 – 15:00
Relationship shadow
We explore the shadow side of your relationship. Together you sketch when and how your relationship gets in trouble. We also learn about four destructive behaviours that are capable of undermining any relationship. Shedding light on this shadow side allows you to begin mending what is torn and preventing any further damage.
15:00 - 15:15
15:15 – 16:45
Four tools
We explore the antidotes to the four destructive behaviours. When can you use them and how? What can you agree to as a couple? This gives you practical tools to turn the tide and avoid potential pitfalls in your relationship.
16:45 – 17:00
Wrap up
We wrap up, summarize the day, and make sure we’re all in a good place before we leave the room.
17:00 – 18:30
Free time
18:30 – 20:00
Depending on everybody’s needs, all couples have dinner together or separate from each other.
20:00 - 21:00
A lecture / reading followed by an exchange on a topic that lies at the heart of the retreat.

Programme day 2

07:30 – 09:00
We start the day with breakfast at the hotel. Together or separate, depending on our needs.
09:00 – 09:30
Attention in movement and meditation
We continue our expedition with meditation and martial arts. We practice our attention in movement and are quiet, both within ourselves and with others.
09:30 – 11:00
Constructive conflict
Relationship conflicts can be protracted and exhausting. And yet it is possible to have them in a way that promotes intimacy and mutual understanding. This morning we explore how this works.
11:00 – 11:15
11:15 – 12:45
Friendship and intimacy
Friendship and intimacy are a source of playfulness, humour, affection, romance, passion, sexual intimacy and adventure. This gives any relationship resilience and energy. We learn how to encourage this, so that the relationship can get back on track.
12:45 – 13:30
Time to treat ourselves to a delicious meal.
13:30 – 15:00
Shared dreams and meaning
After lunch we look at how we can organise our relationship in such a way that it gives meaning to our lives and contributes to the realization of our deepest dreams, as individuals and as a couple.
15:00 – 15:15
15:15 – 16:15
Map of the future
With a clear picture of where we are now, it’s time to focus on what’s to come. What possibilities may present themselves in the coming period? Which paths can the two of you take? Who or what will become a part of your journey?
16:15 – 17:00
Wrap up
The retreat is coming to an end. We look back on everything we have learned and experienced and set an intention for the future. We say our goodbyes and go home.

Location: Landgoed De Bilderberg

Hidden in the beautiful forests of the Veluwe and rustic Oosterbeek is the historic De Bilderberg estate. Here we have a good space at our disposal, with a coffee corner with fresh fruit around the corner.

Lunch is served in the in-house Julia’s Kitchen: a French American restaurant with dishes inspired by the fifties. The ingredients come from local suppliers.

We think comfort is important during a retreat and have opted for the Junior Suite. This is 36 square meters, equipped with a Kingsize bed, separate sitting area, desk, TV and telephone. The bathroom has a (walk-in) shower. The suite has a balcony.

Something else you will appreciate: the hotel has its own sauna, swimming pool and gym. The hotel borders directly on the forest, so there are plenty of opportunities to recharge the batteries.

There are plenty of parking spaces and 4 charging stations. The hotel is easily accessible from the A12 and A50. The Kröller-Müller museum, the Airborne Museum or the Open Air Museum are nearby, as is the Rhine with its beautiful floodplains.

The hotel is located at Utrechtseweg 261, 6862 AK in Oosterbeek. The reception can be reached on +31 (0)26 339 63 33. For more information, check the hotel’s website.


The retreat is led by Ilja and Fleur together and takes place from Saturday 09:00 until Sunday 17:00. The group is limited to six couples. Your investment is €1295 per couple (including VAT). For that you get:

– 1 night in a Junior Suite
– a delicious three-course dinner
– breakfast (1x) and lunch (2x)
– coffee, tea and refreshments
– access to the swimming pool, sauna and Turkish bath
– two days of undivided attention for each other
– guidance from two experienced therapists
– walks in the beautiful forests around Oosterbeek
– an unforgettable experience
– a sustainable investment in your relationship

This retreat can also be booked exclusively for a couple that appreciates maximum attention and discretion. We will then design the program based on your specific wishes. In addition to joint work, we also offer couples the opportunity to do individual work. Please contact us to see what we can do for you.